Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Real Life and Preferred Fictional Fears

Fish are dying in mass, suicidal dogs are leaping from bridges, birds are literally falling from the sky...

it's like the apocalypse is upon us and no one had the decency to alert the locusts.

Standby buddy, you're on in five

When confronted by the very real horrors found in everyday life, I tend to revert to my primary coping method and Escape Plan Alpha, burying myself in fiction. 

What? It's more effective than neurotic, pessimistic rambling or copious amounts of bourbon (Escape Plans Bravo and Charlie, respectively). I'm in no way downplaying the importance of recent events, or suggesting we allow ourselves to become uninformed (no matter how scary real life is). But if you need a momentary respite from real life tragedies, feel free to indulge yourself in any one of these, my top five favorite fictional terrors.

5. Giant, man-eating spiders who can speak and plot mayhem [courtesy of the Harry Potter series]
4. Satanic nuns of the chattering order of St. Beryl [courtesy of Good Omens]
3. Mentally unstable fairies on ill-conceived missions of vengeance [courtesy of the Southern Vampire series]
2. Sparkly vampires [courtesy of the Twilight series]

And the #1 most frightening fictional terror?

1. Zombie guinea pigs. 

Oh yes. Thanks to Jesse Petersen and her addictive Living with the Dead series, just try to get this little guy out of your nightmares [courtesy of Flip this Zombie]

Fear me
In a time when cities are flooding, governments are collapsing, and Snooki has a book deal, it's comforting to have fictional fears to fall back on. What are your favorite fictional boogeymen? 

And now I'm off to engage in Escape Plan Foxtrot, also known as pie.


  1. LOL!! Love the post. I'm not going to try to come up with a fictional fear since I'm getting ready to go to sleep and don't want to have nightmares. And if I dream about zombie guinea pigs, I know where you live. :)

  2. Ha! Love the picture of the grasshopper! He looks like he's smiling though ... hmm ....

  3. Great post! Sadly, my fictional fears seem all too real, so I prefer to escape into the past, which, though real to a certain extent, and with its own terrors, is, thankfully, over.

    Thanks for making me smile today.

  4. Can't think of one and don't want too! If I use my remaining functional brain cells to squeeze one out, the d... thing will try to own my mind! lol

  5. Thanks for stopping by to comment, ladies. I'm glad you enjoyed :)