Monday, December 8, 2008

Have Yourself a Scary Christmas

We’re all paranormal writers here, so you’d think Halloween would be our big holiday. But you know what? Christmas can be pretty darn scary too.

Things that scare Lori:

Black Friday
For someone who hates shopping with a passion (I think it's a birth defect and I'm missing the shopping gene -- along with the cleaning gene, the organizing gene, and the sense of direction gene), the Friday after Thanksgiving is a living nightmare. You won’t catch me stepping foot out of the house on that day.

A Christmas Carol
Now here's some Christmas spooks for you. Talk about scary. Hearing Jacob Marley’s chains rattling as he shuffled down the hall to Scrooge’s door freaked me out as a kid. But it was the Ghost of Christmas Future that kept me awake many a night. What the heck is Death doing in a Christmas story anyway?

Tacky Light Houses
Want to know what’s scarier than witnessing the use of enough electricity in one night to light a small town for a week? How about being on a bus full of parents and their kids as it tries to turn around in a cul-de-sac packed with other voyeurs of the exterior light-bright competition. (That would be me last night.)

Tim Burton
The Nightmare Before Christmas. Just look at the faces on those characters. You just know he mutilated his sister's Barbies as a small child. Makes you wonder what goes on in that man’s head.

A Christmas Story
A timeless classic that must be watched every Christmas season in my house. While the leg lamp is enough to send anyone with even an ounce of decorative taste screaming, the pink bunny suit and the tongue stuck to the metal pole has made many a child cringe in sympathy. Poor Ralphie.

The Winter Warlock
From "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." What kind of screen writer puts something so scary into a children's holiday show? Check out the piranha teeth. He was enough to send me crawling into my mom's lap every season until I hit my tweener years.

The Abominable Snow Man
Another creature to keep kids awake at night (and not dreaming of sugarplums, I'll tell ya.) How many little tots cried when they thought he was going to bite Clarice the reindeer’s head off? I know I did.

The Grinch
Jim Carrey in pea green stage makeup and a rubber suit aside (don't even get me started on the visual image of him with no pants on), any ugly green guy who breaks into my house to steal my toys scares the bejeebers out of me. But what scared me the most was worrying that that poor little dog was going to get dragged to his death by the sleigh full of toys as it fell over the cliff. Where was PETA when Dr. Suess was around?

Fruit Cake
Okay, call me insane but I actually like the stuff so it doesn’t scare me but I know a lot of people who turn white as a sheet should they be gifted (or re-gifted) with this holiday delicacy. My family loves it and the Jane Parker fruit cake has been a long standing family tradition with all my relatives. Picture me as a college student carting 8 of those suckers home every holiday because you could no longer find them in any store in my home town. Now you can only get them from grocery stores up north. At least we can mail order them. (I just did.)

So, what scares you at Christmas? (besides the credit card bills that come in January.)


  1. My kids are terrified of the Bumble! It doesn't even help when he bounces!

    Jody W.

  2. Have a boo at Krampus! there's a scary fella!