Friday, September 26, 2008

You Might Be a Writer

You Might Be A Writer…

Over the last few years, Jeff Foxworthy has given us guidelines to recognize rednecks no matter where or when they might be encountered. I’ve thought for a long time that it might be fun to consider how to recognize writers when encountered in the wild. Here are my guidelines, I’m quite sure you can add many of your own.


One of your favorite pastimes is sitting in a mall and taking notes on strangers.

You carry a notebook everywhere you go, even to the bathroom.

You own more than fifty ink pens. And carry five-ten with you wherever you go.

You consider your computer more a companion than a tool.

You can’t watch a movie without dissecting the plot and commenting on the characterization—even when it annoys your companions.

You have a pet name for your computer.

You can do things with Word (or Word Perfect) that most people would never even dream of doing.

If you’re blue, a trip to the office supply store will cheer you considerably.

You think a bookstore smells better than the most expensive perfume.

A trip to the library borders on a religious experience.

You neither are, nor are you thinking about becoming pregnant— and yet you have six baby name books.

Your daydreams come complete with goals, motivations, and conflicts.

You go to open houses not because you’re in the market for a new home, but because you think it’d make a great place for your new character.

You have a name for your muse.

You’ve ever interrupted dinner with an epiphany about a character or plot.

You’re surprised it’s hot outside, because it’s cold in your character’s world.

If you notice them in friends and family, you have my sympathy. Please remember writers are people too, be gentle.

If even some of these things are true of you, you might be a writer. Congratulations.


  1. Ah Cher!

    Ya got me! I have a name for my muse!!! I dissect plots of movies!!! I would live at B&N as long as they had a staples attached! And I attend historic house tours to find homes for my characters! And here I thought I was being original!!!!



  2. You got me pegged. I think I can confess to almost all of them. Although I don't have a pet name for my laptop, I do call my Alphasmart 'Alphie.' *G*

  3. How about:

    You might be a writer if you talk a scene out loud while you're cleaning the kitchen :)

    Ya got me, I have the baby name book, shriek at movies that have holes in the plot and I'd die without my computer


  4. And here I thought you'd all tell me I was just really nuts and other writers didn't do those things, LOL.