Friday, August 10, 2007

For Those We Have Lost

A friend of mine lost their child to suicide a couple of weeks ago and it got me thinking about our last two topics, why we blog and why we write with humor. Sort of brought it all into perspective for me. I think in our own way each person needs to be connected to one another. And in a society where one would think we're more able to get around, because of advances in technology, we have actually managed to isolate ourselves more instead. The online population is growing, which can only mean more people are spending time on their computers. And you don't do that with someone else.

When I went to the Romance Writers of America Conference I heard the same story over and over. "I'm so happy to meet other writers. I feel so isolated sitting in front of my computer." In one of the keynote speeches the speaker actually changed into her PJ's in front of us and said this was how she usually dressed. I know for myself I have to consciously pull myself away to get out of the house and do other things. It's easy to get lost in the world of writing. I imagine it's easy to get lost in other areas of the computer as well.

So it got me thinking. We're not the only genre to write with humor. We write dark brooding heroes, and I think we need to add a bit of humor or wit, almost like seasoning a stew. To find balance in our lives. We add just the right amount for ourselves to make it taste right or feel right.

I can't help but wondering if this young person couldn't find that balance in their life. And that if our society hasn't advanced itself out of the most important thing: human contact. So maybe that's why blogging has become so popular.

What do you think?



  1. *big hugs* to you and your friend, Judy. Real life is so sad sometimes, we need that touch of humor.

    I think blogging has become so popular because we do need to reach out to others. As writers, we also seem to have this wonderful compassion for others going through the same struggles we are.

  2. Great blog, Judy. Sorry about your friend's child. I can't imagine anything more painful than losing a child, especally to suicide. There's always that 'what did I do wrong'nag. The truth is, probbly nothing.

    I think both you and Maggie are right. Writers blog to reach out and connect with other writers and readers. Our world is lonely. Those who don't blog have several favorite sites we frequent every day. Yours is now added to my list.

  3. Judy, it's sad when anyone commits suicide. This is a very thoughtful blog. I agree with everything you've said. It was so much fun meeting my online friends at Dallas. Luckily I have my monthly chapter meetings, but in between I love connecting with people who understand me through blogs.

  4. Hugs to all those who have someone close to. I agree about the balance, it's sometimes tough to find a balance when you don't have the inner demons to content with - how much more difficult if you do.

    Nice reflective blog -gives us all something to think about for the weekend. Off to hug my loved ones.

  5. What a moving post, Judy. I can totally identify, having been touch by suicide twice in my life. That's two times too many, IMO. There's so much tragedy and saddness in the world, I think that's why I favor humor in the fictional worlds I escape to in my reading and my writing. Laughter heals a multitude of wounds -- eventually.

  6. I agreed with so many of your thoughts, Judy. I think humor helps link us to others--a smile can cross so many barriers. But I've had bleak moments where I've lost my sense of humor, and it's frightening how quickly a void swallows us whole when we can't laugh at anything, least of all ourselves.

    My heart goes out to your grieving friend. I know you'll reach out to her, as you reached out to us.

  7. Sorry everyone I've been out all day. Thank you for your comments. This morning I was talking to my 16 year old about my blog. He said I should write downstairs next to him while he played video games, and in the same breath that he doesn't spend that much time on the computer.

    I said, "Oh, honey, I considered video games similar to being on the computer, and we'd definitely be relating to each other then: not."

    His answer: "I'm always listening to you, while I play video games."

    I laughed to myself. Yes, we're together in the same room, but it's like we're in parallel universes. Got to love a 16 year-old thought process. But I do sit and write while he plays. They grow up so fast.

  8. My sympathies Judy. It is so hard to lose anyone, but when they commit suicide it is all the more devastating to those left behind.

    Blogging seems to be popular as a way to address the potential for isolation that all of us are in danger of succumbing to each day. We feel like we should hibernate and do only what we "should" do, not what we enjoy doing.

    Fortunately, there are people who share their fun side when they write - either books or blogs. It makes the day past more quickly and lightens the load.

  9. You expressed yourself from the heart-debralee