This is your Otherworld Diner service announcement - for emergencies only! :)
So you're maybe wondering if something is going to happen tomorrow, and in honor of May 21st's momentous expectations, here are some tips on surviving Armageddon:
If you're going to be worrying about whether things will be the same after tomorrow, get to the store and lay in a week or two supply of non-perishable food. Ideally, you've already been stocking up a bit, but don't forget water. Water is the most important thing you need, so start filling up those empty water bottles, milk jugs and two liter soda bottles while you can.
Make sure you've got a radio with plenty of batteries (a hand-crank radio is even better), flashlights (battery or hand-crank) and matches/lighters to make heat or light.
Next, you'll probably want to stay put unless you're right in the big middle of it - because if something happens, the roads will probably be overcrowded with others trying to get away too. If it's possible to hunker down where you are, do it and stay safer. You don't want to get stuck on the road.
Have some cash on hand - bills and coins - because the banks may not be accessible and if you have to buy food or gas or anything, you'll need some.
Hopefully, if you're staying in, you have a basement. If you don't, you'll want to secure an inner room and stock it with everything you'll need for a few days. Make sure you have blankets and pillows and a can opener and anything else you may need, including an improvised toilet (a five-gallon bucket works well), just in case. Trash bags will be needed - preferably heavy duty - to package waste until it can be disposed of, so it doesn't draw insects.
A first-aid kit is a necessity, and face masks might be needed. You'll want to have bleach and alcohol to purify water and clean any wounds. Rolls of plastic sheeting may come in handy, and protective clothing. Hand sanitizer and wipes are also good to have on hand.
So be prepared, like a good Boy or Girl Scout. I went to see the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie today, just in case.
This has been your Otherworld Diner service announcement.
See you on Sunday.