it's like the apocalypse is upon us and no one had the decency to alert the locusts.
Standby buddy, you're on in five
When confronted by the very real horrors found in everyday life, I tend to revert to my primary coping method and Escape Plan Alpha, burying myself in fiction.
What? It's more effective than neurotic, pessimistic rambling or copious amounts of bourbon (Escape Plans Bravo and Charlie, respectively). I'm in no way downplaying the importance of recent events, or suggesting we allow ourselves to become uninformed (no matter how scary real life is). But if you need a momentary respite from real life tragedies, feel free to indulge yourself in any one of these, my top five favorite fictional terrors.
5. Giant, man-eating spiders who can speak and plot mayhem [courtesy of the Harry Potter series]
4. Satanic nuns of the chattering order of St. Beryl [courtesy of Good Omens]
3. Mentally unstable fairies on ill-conceived missions of vengeance [courtesy of the Southern Vampire series]
2. Sparkly vampires [courtesy of the Twilight series]
And the #1 most frightening fictional terror?
1. Zombie guinea pigs.
Oh yes. Thanks to Jesse Petersen and her addictive Living with the Dead series, just try to get this little guy out of your nightmares [courtesy of Flip this Zombie]
In a time when cities are flooding, governments are collapsing, and Snooki has a book deal, it's comforting to have fictional fears to fall back on. What are your favorite fictional boogeymen?
And now I'm off to engage in Escape Plan Foxtrot, also known as pie.