Samhain Publishing recently put out a call for post-apocalyptic novellas for an end of days anthology: http://samhainpublishing.com/submissions#2012. Looks like a good 'un! Anyway, I was trying to come up with ideas so I too could submit to this anthology, and here are a few I scratched off my list:
1) Clown apocalypse. After the clowns go bad, everyone who survives is forced to always wear overly large shoes, red noses and rainbow wigs as well as travel in packs of fifteen in very small cars. It's no circus utopia but it could be worse.
2) Post-modern apocalypse. After the information leak, everyone suddenly believes reality isn't real but is instead dependent upon relativity and interpretation, leading to a huge upsurge in crime, dogs dressed like ballerinas, and people jumping off buildings because they think they can fly.
3) Polyester pants apocalypse. Because that already happened in the 70's, and nobody wants to read about that.
4) Kung Fu apocalypse. After the movie with the secret subliminal suggestions is released and viewed by nearly everyone in the world, everyone starts speaking with their lips moving one way while the sound comes out a couple seconds later. This causes mass confusion and a communication breakdown. People also develop a deadly tendency to break into street fights while barefoot.
5) Sharktoctopocalypse. This one doesn't happen because nobody can pronounce it, but it would have had something to do with floods, painfully bad dialogue, rubber suits, and eight armed monsters with big teeth.
6) Allen apocalypse. Often misspelled as "alien" apocalypse, even though every Allen knows there's no such thing as aliens, this horrible event occurs because everyone forgets who they are due to a mind-altering comet or something, I don't know, but anyway, when they come to, they all think their name is Allen. This causes mass confusion, wars, fisticuffs, jealousy, love triangles with Allen, Allen and Allen, battles with wrenches (Allen wrenches of course), the rise and fall of Allen, TX, as a global power, and the destruction of the internet. Also, everyone only wants to wear polyester pants.
7) Cold sore apocalypse. The low budget version of the avian flu apocalypse that killed nearly everyone and was quite exciting in its primal aftermath, a real survival of the fittest triumph kind of thing, at least on paper, the cold sore apocalypse transmits itself through drinking water, that sly little viri. Suddenly everyone has herpes simplex of the lip. This causes a huge revolution in what is considered physically attractive, especially in the mouth part of the face. Oozing red sores in this area are considered a sign of virility and having kissed a lot of people, and entire industries spring up to cater to this. Meanwhile, someone named Allen Allen invents a serum that causes the...
8) Cure for herpes apocalypse. This one's only relevant after the cold sore apocalypse. Otherwise it's just good news for herpes sufferers.
9) The Oh My God What Is That Crap On TV apocalypse. After all scripted programs except Smallville go off the air and only reality TV is left, a collective shudder runs through humanity, or at least the TV watching portion of humanity, at exactly the same moment, and they turn off their TVs. Forever. This causes an outbreak of peace, love, understanding, global joie de vivre, and me getting almost all of my manuscripts published and on best-seller lists everywhere except that one novel under the bed which seriously needs some revision.
10) Cat apocalypse. In a preplanned and coordinated movement by all felines in the world, cats take over, quite handily, as they should. Dogs are relegated to always wearing ballerina outfits, clowns are forbidden, everyone named Allen is given a swift kitty swat in the pants, and I am warned off of ever writing a blog post this late at night again. I hear and obey, my feline overseer.
I know. It's late, really late, apocalyptically late, and oh my God, what is my husband watching on TV in the other room? I'd better go see.
Jody W.
http://www.jodywallace.com/ * http://www.meankitty.com/
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If anyone is suited to record the harrowing events of the cat apocalypse, it is you Jody. I look forward to reading the tales.
ReplyDeleteWhat about a Garden Gnome apocalypse? If the cats and garden gnomes could put aside their differences and band together, they would be an unstoppable foe.
#4 The Kung Fu apocalypse. You forgot to mention Jackie Chan. He becomes the ruler of the New World Order that ensues...Fu-dom.
ReplyDeleteAnd #3? You're right. No one wants to see it. I endured the 70's & barely lived through it. Shudder.
The garden gnome apocalypse would be a GREAT story. It also may or may not be the 3rd in my Fey Realm series, hehehehe.
ReplyDeleteToo funny. I vote for the Sharktoctopocalypse. Wait, I think I've already seen that on TV starring Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't knock the garden gnomes. My son got one for Christmas dress as a Va. Tech Hokie and thinks it's very cool.