These past 2 weeks at the Diner, we've been talking about how to make resolutions and goals and how to keep them. Tonight I thought I'd share some New Year's Resolution jokes from around the internet, plus links to see more.
From A Cat's New Year's Resolutions:
* I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when she's on the family room floor trying to do sit ups.
* When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.
* I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has finished watching The X-Files.
From 10 Funny Jokes about New Year's Resolutions:
Getting in shape:
A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 a.m. jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what "runner's euphoria" was. "Runner's euphoria," he explained, "is what I feel at 5:30 on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays." -- Neil P. Budge
From Aha! Jokes about New Year's Resolutions:
1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2000: I will read at least 10 books a year.
2001: I will read 5 books a year.
2002: I will finish The Pelican Brief
2003: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year.
2004: I will read at least one article this year.
2005: I will try and finish the comics section this year.
Jody W. w/a Ellie Marvel
Megan's Choice -- Choose Your Adventure!
http://www.elliemarvel.com * http://blog.jodywallace.com