Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know the hardest part is over
Let it in,
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels..."
I suspect Rob Thomas did NOT have me in mind when he wrote those particular lyrics but as we bulldoze through the holidays and barrel into a new year, I find myself reflecting. A lot. I'm not one of those "go with the flow" kinda gals who can take things in stride and never break a sweat. I worry (sometimes to the point of nuttiness) about many things so far beyond my control that they fall into the realm of the divine. I'm not God, but that doesn't mean I haven't tried walking on water a few times this past year.
BTW, I sank. Again.
2008 has been the year of learning to let go. A tough lesson for a control freak like me. I've had to watch my child get behind the wheel of real motor vehicle (not a big wheel) and drive off into the night without me. I've had to let go of the feelings of disappointment and anger when a great job disappeared from under me. I've said goodbye to my father, knowing I will never again hear his voice in this life.
Bigger things were definitely sending me a message this year: Learn to let go.
So I finally got the memo. I entered the GH to let go of my story as much as to see how it stacks up against competitors. I performed first reader duty for a vampire book in order to overcome my prejudice against vampire novels as much as to help a wonderful author and friend (and okay, I admit, get my name in the acknowledgements.)
Now, I'm finishing up the last (and I do mean the last) read through of my story before sending it back to an agent and I refuse to count the days, weeeks or months until at least six have passed. Why? Because I have to let go and by letting go I can hold other moments closer.
Like when my child comes home safe after her first fender bender...
Or when I get the email telling me RWA has received my contest submission...
Or remembering my Dad's smile when told me how he reffed games when Vince Lombardi coached back in Jersey...
"Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain."
Rob got it absolutely right.
Learn to let go...and embrace the small hours.
That's where they real stories of your life are written.