Thursday, August 21, 2008

You Know You Have a Sagging Middle When…


Thirteen Things about Sagging Middles
  1. You have to kill off somebody to liven things up.

  2. Your hero and heroine (hereafter known as H&H) can’t find anything interesting to do, so you bring in the oddball relative/friend/ex-lover to take the focus off the fact that they have not moved the plot forward in the past 3 chapters.

  3. Your H&H have already jumped the shark by doing the horizontal mambo in chapter 4 so they pick a fight over something idiotic so that one of them can stomp out with the emotional maturity of a 5 year old, separating them for no good reason until chapter 12, and you try to pass it off in the name of ‘conflict’ or ‘romantic tension.’

  4. You take time out of your villain’s busy schedule of doing nefarious deeds so that he can explain to his idiot henchmen in meticulous detail what other nefarious deeds he’s going to do to the H&H instead of letting us find out as they happen to them.

  5. You can’t stretch out the major conflict any longer without ending the book so you dredge up some deep, dark secret from one of the character’s pasts so they have some other issues to deal with instead of resolving the biggie too soon.

  6. You spend 13 paragraphs describing the furniture in the hero’s apartment, what designer clothes the heroine is wearing and what they’re eating for dinner because you only have 1 ½ pages of actual action and dialogue in the chapter so far.

  7. Out of shear boredom, your H&H have wild, passionate, mind-blowing sex in an unusual, kinky location at the drop of a hat -- forget that they couldn’t stand the sight of each other 5 minutes ago.

  8. One or more secondary characters take off and run in another direction with a subplot that’s more interesting and exciting than the main plot. Can you say H&H who?

  9. You have poor little Timmy fall down the well/get kidnapped/come down with a deadly case of Mongolian Body Rot so the H&H have something emotional to bond over since they’ve become emotionally stagnant themselves.

  10. In padding your middle, you have your characters spend 4 chapters helping Aunt Bertha repair the leaky toilet in the sentimental old homeplace (and bonding over it) when it should have only taken 2 scenes, at most. (Of course, knowing my husband and the 5 trips to Lowes he has to make to complete one project in our house, I guess in reality it could take 4 chapters to fix a leaky toilet. Maybe more. *G*)

  11. Your H&H start talking about their estranged family members, their traumatic past childhood experiences, or their unrealistic future dreams because they have nothing else plot-worthy to say to each other in the present.

  12. Your H&H decide to take a quickie vacation for a change of scenery because where they are in the story is about as interesting as clipping your toenails.

  13. You break to a scene where the villain has some freaky sex because, well, your hero and heroine had that silly argument (see item #3) and still aren’t talking to each other and somebody needs to be getting some at this point in the book.

So what's your sagging middle look like?

Lori

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14 comments:

  1. Fun TT. I love it. Happy TT and thanks for stopping by my place.

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  2. Oh, man. I have done way too many of these. The only cure is to put it under the knife.

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  3. Happy TT...sagging middle...you do what they do with TV shows before they take them off the air...add a child. ;)
    http://www.apooobooks.com/2008/08/20/hot-fun-summertimehanging-beach/

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  4. Very funny! And don't forget, there's always the flashback to show how they got to this place in the story - told from both points of view. (I'm guilty of using that one. Thankfully, I also delete it later.)

    Thanks for visiting my TT!

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  5. These posts are so helpful. iI always learn something new and interesting! Thanks!

    Happy TT.

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  6. Oh, man. I forgot about the flashbacks! Good one. I might have to change this to the Thursday 14.

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  7. The heroine gets kidnapped/injured and hero has to go get her! Cuz, we need... something.

    Thanks for stopping by my list!

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  8. That was hysterical! Sagging 13 oh my! I'm a guy so I won't go there. When I think about a sagging middle I think beer belly. See, I told you I'm just a guy! Aww, come on now, what do I know. But there is hope for me so how about checking out to read my 13 annoying things that get on my nerves about the Internet!

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  9. ROTFLMAO! Guilty as charged for #8.

    Damn! I HATE when that happens.

    Talia

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  10. Haha, those are the ones that discouraged me from writing. Happy TT

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  11. How funny! There's some great info in there too. There are some big name who could stand to read this. Just saying.

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  12. Did you base this on my novel "Real Magic"? :)

    Hope I did better than that.

    Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

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  13. Mine's got stretch marks. Oh, wait, you mean in the book??

    JW

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  14. i tend to stop writing on the story altogether when i reach the murky middle of a wip. i tend to bounce back and forth between pantser and outliner. at the beginning of a story when it first takes off i'm winging it. then about 1/3 to 1/2 in the story's engine stalls. i'm becoming resigned to the need to stop and do some kind of planning to get the story revved up again. but then i am up against the OCD (Order Demanding Demon) in my psyche that totally hates the winger and tries to turn storytelling into an algebraic equation. i have to watch against getting stuck fiddling too long with outlines, lists, graphs, time lines etc.

    thanx for visiting

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