Tuesday, June 17, 2008

No Penlights and Whining

Everyone has written such wonderful posts for this bi-week, I found it hard to add anything. I was going to post about the type of heroine I love, but the annoying part of my brain kept nagging at me saying "C'mon, Maggie, be bold, be a rebel. Take this opportunity to b*tch."

Who am I to argue with my brain?

We've all seen the TSTL heroine Lori posted about yesterday. You know, the gal who hears a loud crash so she grabs a flashlight, throws on her robe and hurries to investigate. She finds a broken window, sticks her head outside, glances around and shrugs. Probably just the wind. Then she turns to find a knife-wielding maniac behind her. Somehow, she's always surprised that her penlight doesn't hold up against a machete.

But even worse is the self-centered heroine. I'll give two examples.

The first one comes from a book I recently read. The heroine is 40+ and discovers she's pregnant. Okay, kinda scary, a little earthshaking, but this gal took it way too far. I believe the plot was, she's pregnant at 40 and isn't sure if her marriage can survive it. Uh...huh? This heroine is married to the perfect guy (gag me) he worships the ground she walks on, offers 100% support and yet she doesn't know if she can forgive him for getting her pregnant. Am I missing something? When did it become the guys fault when your choice of birth control fails?

The second one is a little more subtle but just as nauseating. The whinny martyr. This heroine has the mob after her and the hero (an FBI agent) is protecting her. In the end, they get the bad guys but not before the hero gets shot. He's fine, of course, nothing life-threatening, but the heroine decides his family must hate her for making the hero do his job and getting shot in the process.

Basically this is how the dialog went. Of course, it's in my own words, so no one panic :)

"I must go. Your family hates me."
"No, they don't hate you. It's not your fault."
"Yes, it's all my fault. I must leave."
"No, really, I just spoke to my mom and she's so happy we're in love."
"Oh, how she must hate me. I don't know how they can even look at me."

Okay, you get the idea. At this point, I'd not only help with her luggage, I'd drive her to the airport and make sure she got on thee damn plane! Everything is about her. Because of HER, the hero got shot. Because of HER, they can't be happy, etc..

So be kind to your heroine. Give her a brain, a backbone and compassion, but for God sakes give her more than a penlight!



  1. Ah, I'd forgotten about the "nobody could possibly love me so I'll crawl under my rock and wallow in my self-imposed misery" heroine. She gives the TSTL heroine a run for the money. And just so ya know, I keep a metal baseball bat under the bed for when I hear those mysterious noises. Much better than a penlight. *G*

  2. I loathe the "can't think for myself" heroine. The hero tells her what to do and she does it and the evil villainess (the hero's hot ex) tells her that the hero doesn't love her and she believes it. Throw that girl under the bus!

    Great post, Maggie!