Sunday, April 6, 2008

Did anyone misplace a health inspector?

I found this little guy - Roscoe something - muttering about alternate dimensions and quarks, which you know I know nothing about. I put him in the staff break room, because he's talking in circles and drooling really bad and I don't have time to push him out the back door right now. If someone could take care of the poor man (you can do what you want), I'll get back to what I was working on.

I've been cleaning up the booths in front and I found some notes about an agent, Kristen Nelson. I'm trying to decipher them. Apparently, whoever was writing stuff down was eating the cherry pie AND drinking hot chocolate from the looks of the mess on these crumpled papers.

Here's what I've gotten so far, and it should help anyone who's doing pitch sessions in upcoming conferences/conventions:

For a 10-minute pitch session:
1. Plan on a two-minute pitch, then be prepared to ask and answer questions.

2. You don't have to memorize it; no one knows your story better than you, so just talk about it.

3. Use the back cover of a book for inspiration for your pitch.

4. Ask questions about the genre, the company they're with, the publishing industry or anything else you need to know.

5. Take a deep breath and be yourself. The pitch isn't life or death. Your writing will speak for itself.

There's more, and I'll continue to decipher, so just ignore me if you see me hunched over in my back booth. I've got to get the rest of the notes figured out... but first, I think I'll have a piece of cherry pie.

Don't forget to take care of Roscoe!


  1. I know Roscoe. I'm so glad you found him. I think we should put him in a taxi headed for the Health Department. The address is on the business cards he keeps in the pocket of his sport coat. I’d do it, but I’m off until Thursday and I don’t know. Can he wait that long? Hey, does he have a copy of “Bird by Bird” on him? It's mine.

    By, the way, I'm adding your notes on pitching to my "Helpful Hints" folder. Thanks.

  2. Beware kids, if you go in the backroom, there is a loon man walking around in circles back there. Don't let his drool touch you, it'll eat through your jeans, just like BlueMoon icecream! EWW!
    By the way kiddo, this is the weirdest looking novel I've ever seen, everything seems to be printed upside down and backwards. Brid yb Brid?
    And uh Jeannie - I wouldn't eat the whipped cream eithern if I were you. It seems to be glowing....

  3. Oh, I think #6 on the list might be: "Offer the agent some PIE!"

    Jody W.

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