Before everyone goes waxing poetic about the wonders of spring, I’m here to keep that old romantic streak in check with a healthy dose of Jersey practicality. So just to prove that spring can inspire a sense of humor and get you writing, I submit the following with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek. ;)
5 Things I Hate about Spring
1. Losing an hour of sleep – Even if it’s for one day, this does not make me a happy camper. Ben Franklin, founder of daylight savings time torture, will never get my vote for “favorite founding father” because of it. Well, that and the whole turkey as the national emblem thing. I see wild turkeys in my backyard all year long and they ain’t inspiring. Trust me.
2. Spring cleaning – I’m not sure where this urge to clean comes from, but I wish it would stop already. I can just about fit the regular-type cleaning into my schedule and now I have to add cleaning windows, walls, and draperies to the mix. Great.
3. Packing away winter clothes – All I can say to those of you who reside in Florida, the Southwest or southern California is I’m envious. You wisely get to wear the same stuff all year long. Not only do I have to check that clothes are still in wearable condition, I have to predict if they will fit next winter. Then I get to wash them all, suck them all down to the size of a DVD player using one of those highly marketed but never quite leak-proof vacuum sealing bags. For the record, sucking the air out of clothes makes them heavy as heck. Now that they weigh the equivalent of 4 or 5 bowling balls, I get to hand them up to my hubby for storage in the attic. Evidently they didn’t believe in closet space back in the 70’s.
4. Allergies – It’s a true horserace between the mold allergies that kick 15 minutes after it starts raining or the product of the rain: pollen. Grass, trees, flowers, all spit out pollen faster than a dragon spits fire. My car is normally beige. Now, it’s green. The stuff resists windshield wiper fluid, too. Here’s a stock tip for you: invest in Dimetapp and Kleenex.
5. Sunlight – In general, I like sunlight. The days last longer so that when I crawl out of my day job, I can actually see my anemic-white hand in front of my face. The problem with sunlight is that it also gives you clarity. Killer dust bunnies hiding in deep, dark corners of my house are revealed. Now I know why my dog whines and refuses to fetch his ball when it lands in the corners. Cobwebs dangle from my ceiling and are those pine needles stuck in my floorboards? Obviously some holidays didn’t get the memo.
Time to dig out the dreaded vacuum again.
What I do like about spring are babies—baby birds, baby lambs, baby babies. Regeneration. Gotta love that life goes on. I like seeing moms pushing strollers and dads playing basketball with their kids. People start prepping the garden and the local garden store gets more business than the coffee shop. Suddenly the whole neighborhood comes out of hibernation. We get to reconnect—to our neighbors, to nature and to ourselves. That connection is essential to writing stories. After all, whether we write aliens or werewolves, the stories are all inspired by the human touch.
So take a look around. And that green on my windows isn't leftover St. Paddy’s day clings